Still, for the Sierackis and others, finances take a back seat to emotions when it comes time for the actual separation — and then the weeks and months that follow.
In a tiny alcove outside Alexa's dormitory, the family gathered to say goodbye.
Kris Sieracki clasped Alexa's hands, then enveloped her in a tearful embrace. "It's going to be amazing," she said.
Natasha Sieracki, who's been through this before, offered her sister a big hug and a broad smile.
Tim Sieracki swallowed hard and reminded Alexa to always remember to take her keys with her.
He hugged her quickly. "Until we meet again," he said in a tight voice.
Then Tim, Kris and Natasha walked down long, concrete paths, away from a throng of new students waiting for pizza, Alexa among them. When she got far enough away that Alexa couldn't see, Kris looked back, just once. Tim reached around and patted his wife's shoulder.
"I can't believe we're going to leave her here," Kris Sieracki said. "Life goes on back in Indiana."
Such scenes are common every year, and even experts who help organize events to ease college transition say they understand the struggle to separate.
"It can be very hard," said Joyce Holl, executive director of the National Orientation Directors Association, an agency that provides education and resources for college officials. "It's like that first day of kindergarten, but my child's not coming home after school," she said.
Last month, Holl left her youngest daughter, Maggie, 18, at Minnesota State University. Her older sister, Kalyn, 20, attends the University of Minnesota nearby, but she lives in an apartment.
"I'm still dealing with it, to be honest," Holl said. "At home, it's been very quiet."
Fortunately for parents and students, there's a science to the freshman year departure process. From convocation ceremonies to parent barbecues, every activity is designed to ease parents away from the school — even as students are eased in.
"At orientation, our people are really having to remind parents to focus on letting go," Holl said. "If they're not pleasantly asked to leave, they're going to stick around with their child."
Such rites are as much for the benefit of the student as the parent. When parents linger too long, it can delay the young person's adjustment to the situation, said Jacquelyn Crinnion, 20, the USC resident adviser who will supervise Alexa Sieracki's dorm.
"Normally, once the parents leave, they do well on their own," said Crinnion, who has been a so-called RA for most of her college career. "We really find they do a lot better without mommy and daddy."
In touch by text
Today's families probably have it easier than those in the past, Soren said. Technology allows them to stay connected in a casual, daily way. Instead of a weekly Sunday night phone call, students are more likely to stay in touch by text or e-mail.
That works well, Soren said, as long as neither parents nor students overdo the communication. She's heard of parents who text or e-mail their children several times a day, asking about every class meeting or test result. And she's heard of students who turn to parents with every minor problem instead of figuring it out on their own.
"A lot of families don't let go and a lot of kids are happy not to let go," she said. "In some ways, it eases the separation and in some ways, it prolongs the separation."
The best approach is a balance, Soren said. But that has to start long before the family car is loaded with bed sheets and school supplies. A year or more before a student leaves for college, parents should start allowing far more autonomy and freedom – and focusing on their own post-kid interests.
"I feel strongly this should not be an abrupt transition," she said.
It's also good to remember that not all families struggle with the transition to college. Another Elkhart-area girl, Kelsie Draper, 18, moved last weekend into a dormitory at Hope College in Holland, Mich.
For weeks, the family's mood has been more celebratory than sad, noted her mother, Gail Draper, 52, a guidance counselor at Elkhart Central High School who is sending the youngest of her three kids to college.
"I am just excited about the opportunity for her to go," she said. "I think Kelsie's much more capable than she thinks she is."
But, unlike Alexa Sieracki, Draper's daughter will be only three hours away, securely on the same side of the country. That proximity makes the transition easier for everyone, Draper said.
"If I was taking Kelsie to California, you'd see tears."
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